My Date with Elvis
Posted by: Cléa in General, tags: blind date, cbmused, elvis, elvis obsession, the king, worst date
I should have known it was going to be a disaster as soon as he described his car. A VW beetle original, with additional lights “that look like bug eyes”. I thought it was a joke but little did I know then that the joke was to be on me.
When I arrived at the meeting place, a busy beachside location for a coffee on a Sunday afternoon, I spotted the car with the buggy eyes. I should have made a U-turn and gone home. But he saw my car and waved. And so with a little trepidation, I walked into the café.
He had described himself as tall, slim, dark and “people-say-I’m-very-attractive”. He said that he was educated and a professional, dressed well, and was very sociable. Yet there I was in the company of Mr Ordinary, who was tall but with a solid build, “I-wouldn’t-call-him-attractive-least-of-all-very”, and if being a garage mechanic meant he was educated and a professional, then I must be Einstein2.
He raved about how much he liked Elvis, how much he looked like Elvis, and how he could sing and move like Elvis, offering me free samples of his notes. I was so shook up I nearly choked on my coffee. He pointed to his oversized retro aviator sunglasses which were just “like the King wore”. He spoke using lines from Elvis’ songs while something churned violently in my stomach. But I smiled. I nodded. I checked the time on my watch, all the while I wanted to tell him how much Elvis repulses me, how I can’t stand his songs, and his voice, his costumes, and his appearance… everything that this chirpy sociable guy was proud of.
I made my polite excuses and left. Beside his Elvis obsession, which incidentally included memorabilia in his car, we had nothing in common. As I sped away with the window wound down and the breeze attempting to clear my mind from the experience, I told myself in consolation that as an avid writer, one day I may write about it. Or not.
And I vowed never to go on a blind date again.
If it weren’t for comments left by GSR and Gboy on my sidebar Wall, I would not have written about my date with Elvis. Now tell me about your worst dates because I’m feeling kinda dirty like I need to rinse off a bad memory.
