“How was your weekend?”

As you ease yourself into the working week with the Monday morning office small talk dissecting the weekend’s events like a post-mortem, spare a thought for your fellow workers who have to put up with the drivel.

“Great! I went out on Friday night…. what a hangover…”
“…the kids were both sick, throwing up all night…”
“…quiet one at home with hubby, in bed by 9…”
“… my 2 year old did this huge poo in the middle of the night and woke us up…”

I. Don’t. Give. A. Damn.

While it might be an ice breaker to start the week, after just a few minutes it often degenerates into inane chit-chat and an unwelcome distraction. Just let me get to my desk (with my coffee) and get on with work. Or else I’ll tell you about…

Sipping cocktails at a trendy bar overlooking the water…
Wrapping my mouth around delectable morsels of food at a two-hatted restaurant…
Finishing the meal with an Armagnac so good it brings tears to your eyes…
The inexorably long taxi ride home, sitting close in the back seat….
The mind-blowing sex afterwards…

Still want to tell me about body fluids and bowel movements?

So… how was your weekend?