This would look sooo good with the linen…

I did a double take in case I hadn’t heard correctly. Admittedly, I was in a fashionable suburb on a late Saturday morning, where a narrow strip is dotted with boutiques, cafés, bakeries, children’s fashion and homewares. And I was there on a jaunt across town to indulge in the culinary delights of a small but heavenly French patisserie.

With more dogs than a Parisian street, shiny skinny latte adorned women posing on tiny outdoor tables, and a myriad of locals carrying the proof of their of boutique shopping in brown paper bags, the morning’s sour dough bread and couples pushing the latest designer prams, one could be mistaken for being in an ultra cosmopolitan city.

I eyed the men, as it is my duty to do. Between those in their twenties sporting a je ne sais quoi attitude with their stubble beards and bulging biceps from underneath tightly fitted black T-shirts – or were they the baristas, I don’t recall – and the thirty to forty-something Fathers of Young Children* pushing their prize offspring around in brand-named kid mobiles, I wondered what happens to men when they become coupled or when the biological urge kicks in.

At what point do they stop being blokes and become house-proud bores? Does this coupling or fatherhood tweak their inner metrosexuality when they compete with their partner’s moisturiser, exfoliant, or visits to the beauty salon where they get plucked within an inch of their life?

This would look sooo good with the linen… came from one such FoYC. His tone of voice was orgasmic. About the perfect accompaniment to linen.

A selection of gateaux and macarons later, I carried the box of gourmandises like a FoYC who has been handed his newborn baby. On the stroll back to the car, I looked at the tall, handsome man walking beside me and gave him an appreciative smile.

At least he sounds orgasmic between the sheets.

* FoYC is my term of choice. There is nothing “yummy” about a “daddy” who has a small appendage hanging off him, or with a mini-me in a pram.