Dragging Him Down The Aisle
Posted by: Cléa in Life, tags: 29 february, cbmused, leap year, marriage, proposals, women proposing to men
The shiny ring. The big white dress. The ceremony in front of hundreds. The decadent reception… Barbie Dolls, fairy tales and stereotypes have a lot to answer for when it comes to the pressure some women undergo in an effort to get their man to tie the knot.
“I must get married before I turn 30 this year,” Sharon repeats to an audience bored with her fixation, asking for advice on how to lure her live-in boyfriend Mike into marriage. She carries with her a sketch of a diamond ring, a photograph of a wedding dress and speaks of the reception venue she has selected. She dreams of a house with a white picket fence and lots of children. Naturally, she will stop working while he becomes the sole provider for their large family. Mike has not even hinted at the happily ever after. One could say that she is slightly obsessive were it not for the fact that I know a few women who share a similar predicament.
As for my advice on how to coerce a man to marry her, I told her the story of my friend Tina, who at the age of twenty, was about to be married after manipulating her (then) boyfriend to pop the ever-after question.
“You too can make D marry you if you’re clever about it,” Tina told me as if she were an expert on proposals.
I reminded her that D has proposed to me twice, on bended knee, but I had no intention of getting engaged at 19 or getting married at 21 while I was a full time student without any life experience.
Tina shrugged. “I’m just saying…” And so was I.
A couple of months after her wedding, she got herself pregnant to educate him in responsibilities. Two years later, they divorced.
Tina’s story fell on Sharon’s deaf ears as she was determined to drag Mike down the aisle before she turns into a pumpkin. I refrained from asking Sharon her expectations of life beyond marriage and the white picket fence. It was all a contrived dream from which she did not want to awake. Maybe she will take the leap year initiative and propose to him today.
Some men will never ask the question until they feel ready. Pressuring them and manipulating them into marriage is a selfish act that serves a one-sided purpose when marriage is meant to be a partnership.
Yet I ponder, do men allow themselves to be coerced into marriage when they’re uncertain and not ready, and why? Do women feel comfortable in the knowledge that through their actions and persistence, they have dragged their man down the aisle?
Your opinion…
