Martini Moments… While Downing Vodkas and Beers after Work

1. There is glaring proof that chicken consumption is extremely high as evidenced by the ample sized boobage that will either require an expensively painful reduction in the future or a gravity defying contraption.

2. When nipple-talk is initiated by men who refer to their own nipple sensitivity and size in extreme temperatures, is it time for the girls to ask for proof?

3. Asking a woman over 25 her age is like asking a man the size of his ego, aka ‘little brain’ or ‘second brain’; a conversation best avoided at all times.

4. “I’d rather get a Brazilian than an eyebrow wax” went hand in hand with “He’s getting a back, crack and sack” which went with “he’s not very hairy” followed by “how do you know?”

5. I will never look at a lower back tribal or Celtic tattoo the same way again after spending 5 minutes in a man’s brain.