Summer may be officially over but the temperate weather allows me to reflect on a favourite pastime of mine, the endless fashion parade of men who aren’t afraid to strut their stuff on the sand.

Yes, I’m talking about that piece of cloth, small or otherwise, that covers men’s loins. Or rude bits.

In this fair country, councils have successfully removed the neck-to-knee regulations many decade ago, yet boardies and long shorts have been embraced by those too uncomfortable with their own bodies to show them off at a public beach. But like all trends that come and go, tightly fitted cossies have been making an insurgence.

First you have Speedos. Referred to as dick pointers, budgy smugglers, ballhuggers, lolly bags or old men’s jewels’ supporters, these were seen at the height of sun and surf fashion in the 80s and still adorn some muscular and ageing physiques.

Then you have togs with the word SPANK printed in large letters across the crotch; something I never fully understood unless the word MONKEY was invisibly printed somewhere and I was too distracted to see it.

Speedo’s Endurance briefs still make an appearance every so often on men in the middle of that age and those who like to advertise their abilities. Butt… they often leave me in doubt whether their claim to endurance is nothing but a mere one-minute wonder.

With aussieBum breathing new life into the ageing Speedo population with their hunky male models, yummy advertising shot at exotic locations, they still have the monopoly on the best looking short leg trunks that bring attention to sculpted thighs and legs. Italian designer equivalents often look too flashy.

The latest contender is a relatively new range of swimwear that calls itself Budgy Smuggler. With the words spelled out on the man’s buns. Preferably a small, tight, muscular one like the slim blonde guy at my beach who is a bit of a regular.

If you think boardies, Speedos, Aussie Bum and Budgy Smuggler cover all types of swimwear, think again. The absolute latest in male beachwear this summer was… a pair of undies.

Forget bold colours in form-fitting lycra. These guys couldn’t give a toss about fashion. When they threw their towels on the sand and dropped their shorts or jeans, they undressed down to their grey, black, navy or white undergarments. Thinking loose and silky boxer shorts? Think again. I’ve seen men unashamedly strip down to their Bonds briefs, Jockey boxer briefs, Davenports and Hanes. And once they came out of the water, cotton fabric moulded perfectly to their genitals, it only took a casual glance to figure who was cut or uncut.

A word of advice when tempted to embrace this new fashion trend. If you’re going to flaunt your assets in tighty whities on the beach, make sure they’re still pure whity. Nothing worse than a pair of wet white undies that have that old grey flannel look about them. Well, nothing except skid marks.