CléaThis post has been in my drafts for over 6 months.
During last year’s hiatus, I became aware that there are some aspects of myself that I choose to share on cbmused.com but hold back from my friends and family. Writing is one of them, and I’m not referring to the notion of keeping a secret blog under an alias. So much of my free time has been taken up with writing. What have you been doing lately, Cléa? People often ask, and I mumble something about being busy and pursuing hobbies like photography.
But why not writing?
Writing is a lonely activity. Much time is spent alone at the keyboard, staring out the window and little time if any is spent discussing the fruits of one’s creative labour with another person. Understandably, we hold our subjects close to our hearts and become reluctant to share ideas. Writing can make us feel a little withdrawn into a world of fiction in order to lend authenticity to the story. The world around me tends to shed a spotlight on certain parts of the creative process and I find myself integrating fact and fiction particularly into locations I visit.
At times, I even live the story.
So what is the harm if family members, friends, even colleagues knew that I am a writer? If I were a painter or a sketch artist or a musician, would I be hiding my artistic side from them? I think not.
Maybe a change is in the air. The next time I am asked what has been occupying my spare time, I can simply say, “I’m writing a novel.” It’s not as if I would end up giving away the plot or any of the characters.
My mind remains password protected.
* * *
Now I tell people: I write.
And by write right you should. Just because someone knows an aspect of your life doesn’t mean they know the most intimate parts of it. Although, maybe it’s just me being paranoid, sometimes that does lead to more questions, questions which you might not want to answer. Just as lies beget themselves, so does the truth. Then again, you being a private person, probably know how to deal with that.
I do wonder sometimes. When we write, does life lend it’s hand at inspiring us to our words? Or do the words that we write inspire us to live our lives? Which part do we actually lead? Which is the better part?
I understand this. It’s different when you say you’re a writer than a painter. Yes, they are both art … but with writing, it’s more open to interpretation. You almost bare more of your soul. But you should definitely not hide it because you are so talented!
Kami: I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the questions. They usually go along the line of what do I write, eg fiction/non-fiction/short stories and when I mention the novel I don’t get probed very much. Besides, I have a standard answer that keeps them from asking any more.
These are good questions. I find life inspires me. And once I’m engrossed in a story, I can live it without making it my reality so I manage to keep the two very separate.
EM: Painting is also open to interpretation but it doesn’t seem to get the scrutiny that writing does. And by writing fiction, it shouldn’t feel so personal yet it does somehow. And that’s lovely of you to say so, thank you.
Things that I do: I work. I read.
None of those things has the same ring to it as “I Write.” And of all the answers that you could give people, I am really glad that you have settled on the one stated above
GSR: I dunno. ‘I read’ sounds very impressive, and it’s more of a conversation starter than ‘I write’.
I felt I did what had to be done long ago. At least I don’t feel as if I’m hiding part of myself any more.
Congratulations for you coming “out of the closet” !
Sidney: Oh very clever! Love it
I would tell people I wrote (if in fact I wrote) if it weren’t for the problem that the bigger my audience is, the more trouble I have writing. When I pick up the pen (or laptop), I imagine all these people watching me, waiting, judging, and it’s the biggest obstacle I face. I also don’t like dancing for the same reason. I’m glad you’re a self-proclaimed writer. There’s nothing better than the truth.
Peefer: But would you show your audience what you write? I don’t. At least not at this stage. But you’re right, there’s a strong judgement factor when it comes to saying “i write”, and it’s a hurdle to get over somehow.
I wouldn’t say I’m a self-proclaimed ‘writer’. I guess I reserve that title to people who get paid, or who have been paid for their work. If I slip the word in here and there, I’m careful who I say it to. The dynamics are ever so delicate.