Cléa1. When you receive a brief email from a friend asking how you are, ignore it. The fact that they’re concerned about you and they thought of you can only mean they’re the kind of people you shouldn’t be bothered with.
2. When in the middle of an email conversation that’s to’ing and fro’ing with an exchange, stop suddenly and leave the person at the other end wondering if you’re still logged on or gone to run through the woods naked.
3. When you receive a text messages from people wishing you a Happy Easter/Birthday/Something, or showing concern about your unemployment situation, make sure you don’t reply to them. They’re clearly not worthy of your 25 cents.
4. When you use Skype, MSN or any IM on a regular basis, make sure you always ignore someone and never say hello. It’s within your right to do so. It is particularly encouraged if it follows from rule #1.
5. When you’re sent a link to an interesting article that is of interest to you, never acknowledge it or let the sender know that you’ve received it let alone appreciated it.
6. When you use Facebook, never ever make contact with the person after you have sent them that initial friend request which they’ve approved. The fact that they’re a close friend or relative bears no relation, if you pardon the pun.
7. When you’re catching up with a work associate over a coffee, at their instigation, and they’ve asked you to confirm it with them at 2 pm, and you do, don’t be surprised when they inform you that their plans had altered as at 9 am that morning. After all, Modern eManners only applies when they want something from you.
8. When someone instigates communication with you after a notable absence, and they don’t say anything about the latest heartbreaking news you sent them, you’re better off ignoring it. If you happen to ask if they had seen that email, they will utterly deny receiving it and blame its disappearance on their spam folder, which incidentally and magically did not spam your latest email about a social gathering.
Remember, the most important person on the planet is YOU. If you have a sudden lapse in memory, remember to resort to the lamest best excuse of this century: I’m busy.
Tags: cbmused, communication, emanners
Are you guilty of any of those? Feel free to add your own…
Actually I’m only guilty of 3. 5 only on occasion. 6 doesn’t really apply because I know them to begin with before I added them and I do contact them in some way.
I’ve got stuff to add too:
1. Always flatter and show concern for a person for at least 5 minutes before asking them to help on something big. Or 30 seconds if you’re impatient and you don’t really care about that person and just want their help.
2. Take credit for rehashing an idea someone else gave or wrote as your own. After all, because you’re popular and you didn’t really copy what they wrote word for word means that you can totally bask in the admiration that people shower you after that.
3. Get down and be hip with it like so many people doing the same thing. It doesn’t matter who started it first, it matters that you act like you know everything there is to know about it when in reality, you only joined the horde yesterday.
1. If your phone rings and the ID is a string of non-sensical lower case letters, don’t answer. Yknow you can’t type in names correctly on a Blackberry when you’re THAT drunk.
2. qwkoqlq is Angela. Dumbass.
I’m happy to say that I’m not guilty of any of those. Sometimes I will not be able to get to an email right away, but I always make sure that I respond at least within the next few days. And if it’s gone longer than that, I apologize profusely. Because you’re right. Someone takes the time to see how you are doing … that is worth something. I’m not a fan of the “I’m busy” excuse.
Kami: Not worthy of the 25c? I’ve sent/received sms for even less than that, like ‘yes’ or ‘ok’ after everything was agreed. Now for your stuff:
1. 5 minutes?! That’s a bonus. I either get 5 seconds, or they get straight to it without even ‘hi’. Usually happens with men.
2. These people should be lined up and ridiculed in public. And I’m being nice.
3. That statement embodies some Gen Y’ers esp those who haven’t established an identity yet.
Casey: I can’t say I’ve done that. Obviously I’m not drinking enough.
EM: And I’m proud of you. Like you, I get back to people and if for some reason it escaped me, an apology follows. As for the “I’m busy” cult, they can go worship themselves. They probably do. Ha!
I’m quite frugal when it comes to sending text messages and calls. Maybe because I don’t have a steady job or maybe it was just the way I was raised. If I want to send a text message, I make sure I make the best out of it. If I’m confirming something, I’ll be sure too add my last thoughts to it as well, just to make sure it’s worth sending.
How would you interpret a “No comment……?”
I think I’m pretty good with these, but sometimes e-mails sit for way too long before I respond.
Kami: Same here.
‘Hi. Meet u @ 10, same spot?
Yes. C u then.
OK.’
I wouldn’t bother with the ‘OK’.
‘Happy Birthday! Have a great day.’
Silence.
I would send a thank you.
GSR: Always a question from you, no?
“No comment……?” is a non committal response. You have an opinion but either you don’t want to share it, or want me to guess, or are playing hard to get. So stop being to PC and speak up!
Depends how long is too long, and what the email was for.
You underestimate my natural curiosity…..
GSR: Tease.
I delete my voice mails about two seconds into most of them. That’s sort of asshole behavior. In my defense, I have a greeting that pretty much warns people about it. They still leave me stupid shit.
I think the next greeting will be recorded after a hard night of drinking/smoking and will say, “You have five seconds to earn my attention. Go.”
I’m sort of guilty about not getting back to people via email in a timely manner. It’s so opposite of how I used to be, but work has been keeping me busy so I’m not online chatting as often.
I think those who know me, Cléa you fall in this camp, understand and don’t need explanations. I do think your guide for eManners is solid.
Ooooooooh… do I detect the faintest hint of sarcasm there?
This one is sooooo close to the money it just ain’t funny. In fact, had one of my breathtakingly infrequent blog posts in the offing on this very topic. WTF is wrong with people? In the last 2 months I’ve had two old mates find me and “fwend” me on FB… and then… not a word. Both were people I wanted to hear from, one was actually someone I had been trying to track down and had made “has anyone seen” posts elsewhere. Go figure.
But as I type this, I realise I am absolutely shocking with voicemail. If you call me… and miss me… you miss me. Odds are your message will get buried along with about 20 others in Tel$tra’s catastophic message bank system… never to be seen again…
EVERYONE: Post edited with one more, freshly-baked excuse.
Casey: I hate voicemail, particularly long-winded ones that don’t get to the point. I’d love to borrow that greeting of yours if I didn’t use my mobile phone for work.
Egan: As you say, if people know circumstances have changed, most people don’t hold it against you. The Guide isn’t about that. It’s about the evolving selfishness of people in this age of multi media communication.
Gboy:
do I detect the faintest hint of sarcasm there?
Nope. It’s ozzing with the stuff.
I should have used WTF is wrong with people? as a post title. Seriously. As for your FB fwend, they’re probably waiting for you to make the first contact. Although they added you.
I hate voicemail, esp at work. Because it’s usually followed up be long-winded emails, or some bullsh!t you’ve been cc’ed on just because someone wants to cover their arse. Yawn…
Betraying my age here, but we lost something with the demise of the Western Union telegram.
When you got a telegram, you knew that was some important shizz, like WWII ended or somebody had a baby. Life altering shizz that you could not ignore, not just some schmuck telling you he is going to a party.
Zen: If good manners are an age thing, then put me down for telegrams. They used to cost per word, if memory serves right. Now we fill the internet cloud with tweets telling the world what we had for breakfast but can’t be bothered with common decency.
I’ve been guilty of #2 before, but that’s what happens when your computer is a piece of crap & decides to lock up on you out of the blue… or y’know, your online time runs out & privacy suddenly ceases to exist. lol
Hmmm. I’ll add this one:
~ For no apparent reason, stop visiting & commenting on a person’s blog that you once regularly frequented & who grew to think of you as a friend. But, do continue to visit & comment regularly to other bloggers where that person goes & will see you. It’s really nice to make the person wonder what they did to get the cold shoulder from you while others don’t.
LB: You run through the woods naked?
In a way, your unreliable PC/situation is an excuse of sorts, provided the other party knows it. In my case, there was NO excuse. How difficult is a ‘gotta go’?
Ahh… blog dynamics are entirely different than what I’m referencing here, and that’s probably where you and I disagree. You see, my readership/comments have dropped significantly with time, and like you, there are some people who still comment elsewhere and not here, but it doesn’t faze me. People’s tastes change, just like mine do, so to me that’s not an issue that bugs me.
Lately I’m definitely guilty of some of these and I hate it. Because I never used to be that way. But as you and Egan were saying, most people who I email back and forth with know what’s going on in my life right now and are a little more understanding. Hell, I just pulled one of these with EM!!! I finally got back to her apologizing profusely for being so delayed! Ugh.
SM: I think most people are tolerant when they know the other party has something on, or has been occupied to some degree, therefore a little delay is no big deal (to me, at least). Complete silence for no reason is another thing all together.