Cléa
Forgive me if I’m late to the playground, the Facebook playground that is, the one complete with cliques, popularity conquests and childish petty behaviours I thought I had long left behind with scraped knees and mercurochrome.
Some time ago, I reluctantly joined FB due to pressure from extended family members. Join or be left out of updates, they said. Fine. Apparently, nobody likes to use email to communicate any more, leaving it up to one liner status changes to tell us what they’re doing in traffic and for their mobile phones to upload the latest happy snap. So I caved in and created an account under my name.
My aim was to part of the group who gets updated with news: who got engaged or married, who popped out an offspring, who had a big birthday bash and where they went on holidays for summer. It was like a virtual family-friends reunion and I enjoyed it so far. Judging by the lifestyle of the rich and famous snaps, I can now pick my next holiday destination from Santorini, Dubai, Croatia, Capri or Marrakesh just to name a few destinations. There’s something to be said for living somewhere other than the arse end of the world when it comes to holidays.
I thought I was in. Then I noticed the number of ‘friends’ suddenly drop out, then magically return. De-friended so soon? Not nice. I played the commenting game like a keen novice (little they know I keep a blog, ha!) but found that people were highly selective about to whom they respond. Fine. But when I had an announcement that was worthy of a congrats, and I updated my status to that effect and uploaded photographs, none came. That wasn’t fine. Particularly when someone shortly announced the arrival of their bundle of joy like it was the second coming of Christ.
So in the meantime, I am not accepting any invitations for a (Lil) Green Patch, a pink ribbon, Texas HoldEm Poker, or friend requests from people I don’t know.
Because I don’t care.
Cléa has a sour taste in her mouth is going to be my next status update.
DISCLAIMER:
This post is about my experiences with my personal FB account and is not a reflection on any reader who uses FB.
Unless you’re related me.
Which you’re not.
You know what I’m saying.
I think you are awesome for writing this post. FB is a big popularity contest. Oh look at me! I have 500 friends … but do you KNOW all of them?!?! Have you spoken to all of them within the last month?? Year?? Or are we now able to add people whom we’ve never spoken to before just to plump up our numbers?
Got to love a woman who knows what mercurochrome is.
Facebook is weird.
Then again, so is all this (blogging).
You know what’s better than showing how many people you have as friends? Deleted the people you don’t think are friends. Seriously. I knew you in high school, but I didn’t talk to you then and I don’t talk to you now.
Oh look. A remove button.
Goodbye.
EM: That’s the impression I get. Not all ‘friends’ are created equally. Some ‘friends’ are more important than others. Etc etc.
I’m one of those who knows everyone in my small list and I’ve left out so many colleagues or acquaintances. Better off without.
Trée: I’ll pass that on to my mum. She’s responsible for that nasty red stuff and how much it stings when applied. A bit like FB…
Peefer: The concept of friending and un-friending is so primary school, so is popularity.
Peefer: Blogging (among some bloggers, like present company) has a bit more class, and when done well, it’s an investment in online relationships/friendships.
Kami: Absolutely. There are many people I didn’t add and won’t. They were left behind for a reason. My gripe is to do with family and something related to them. It’s just a popularity thing and I don’t play that game.
I have very few ‘friends’ and I don’t believe in adding anyone just for the sake of it.
I am wasting enough time with blogging… don’t want to waste even more time with Facebook, Frienster and other online activities…
Facebook is unusual…another of the strange examples of how we give out free information about ourselves, but there’s no fine tuning for what level of access we want to give people. I was randomly searching for people and found my boss and via the information on his page, determine that he is dating my former boss/his former employee (whose positon I took when she left).
I’ve found co-workers who I don’t interact with much having very intricate plans and lives. I’m sure others have done that as well to me. It’s interesting, and not necessarily bad, but what if I found out through the service that I was going to lose my job, or that someone was planning something harmful towards me? I guess then I would be asking if Facebook is permissible as evidence.
It seems like everyone over here has a fb account. I do not
… but I found out there’s someone (just one here in Switzerland) with the same name. He has no photo on his mainside so most of my friends and also some co-workers thought it’s me and sent their requestes. Haha, funny, I just found out about it, when so many complained about it when they saw me in person.
I think it’s a rather strange thingy. Like the mobile phone mania. Ten years ago I just went out, maybe met some friends, maybe not. Today I think I probably could die just because a forgot my mobile at home. But I work on it
DD
Oh, I thought I commented on this. I guess not. Facebook is completely different than blogging. Different audience, different expectations, different everything… that’s how I see it at least.
There are some sucky things about the way Facebook Friends are added. Sometimes you can’t find out more about Friends until you approve them. I will admit I’ve unfriended some folks after reading their profiles or don’t want to receive their Status Updates. I’m guilty.
I have my own Facebook rules: I never accept new application requests, I have to know the Friend request, and to never take myself too seriously. I mainly have fun with folks on it.
It’s nice to catch up with some people from my past I’ve haven’t seen in a long time and the voyeur in me loves the pictures.
Piss poor, isn’t it?
My personal Ferkbook circle is pathetically small, and I like it that way – all the people on it are close friends I’ve known for many many years or family. I’m pleased to say they are a-typical Facebook users.
On the flipside, I have two other accounts, one tied to a fairly busy website. That one pulls in all manner of weirdos and hangers on, and I accept that, because a small number of them are actually quite nice and seem like interesting people I would choose to meet. But what’s funny is the politics… a few media whores and snooty pro wannabes who are friends with many of these people, like to pretend I don’t exist – instead setting up their own little “no homers” club. I always knew they were small minded turds with elevated opinions of themselves, so in that way Facebook is great for helping reveal their true personalities.
I think good blogs and good bloggers attract a far better class of stranger.
Sidney: I used to find blogging to be highly addictive until I proved to myself that it need not be to be enjoyed. All other social networking has little appeal to me and the proof is that I resisted until I had family pressures. FB can be its own addiction, but give me blogging any day…
Mahd: Good comment. Information is given so freely on FB, yet I wonder what purpose it has and what they do with it. There must be reasons why their TOS are strict on having real names and information, and I’m talking real reasons, not the lame ones they tell you.
It sounds like these people have little security on their profiles if you were able to find such information freely. Somehow this would make me nervous that strangers access such data. For example, I have high security on my profile, but every application you authorise can access your info and your friends’ info, so even if you didn’t accept anything, you information is available when a friend of yours has authorised it.
As for whether it holds true or as evidence, I don’t see why not if screen shots are taken. Just check out this article for an example of the power of FB.
Die Muräne: That would be funny if your friends thought it was you then got upset for not accepting them as friends!
I’m the same, rather attached to technology particularly email. I think it’s tougher now because it has become integrated into our lives, and an expectation that you’d have a mobile phone and internet at home. Just like electricity and hot water
Egan: There’s a huge difference when it comes to engaging people through a blog post compared to a status change, one liner, fast food approach. Both attract comments, sometimes a discussion, but to me, somehow, I feel it’s not a private conversation on FB compared to a blog. eg, you can’t check your stats on FB to see who’s visiting.
That’s true about the way you add friends. When I joined and got conformed by 2 family members, I received 2 invites from unknown people. I never accepted. If they knew me, they would have said so in a private message, which is what I do when I invite people I know (or their spouses).
I’m like you. The voyeur in me loves going through their photos. As I explained it’s like a virtual family/friends reunion. I would never get the chance to see that otherwise.
Gboy: Absolutely! I’m still angry about not receiving an acknowledgement of my news.
Like you, my personal account has a small number of friends, and there are some I don’t want to add, such as ex work people.
Your flipside sucks with the “no Homer” club. And I take it they’re supposedly adults. As for FB being great for helping reveal their true personalities,While that may be true, it reeks of school yard antics, and frankly, school is way behind me and cliques were never my thing. So they can go get scraped knees, or roll in the mud together…
I think good blogs and good bloggers attract a far better class of stranger.
Hear Hear! Couldn’t agree with you more!
I have yet to join the FBook revolution (and totally missed the MySpazz one, too) …. and so far? — I don’t feel like I’m missing a damn thing, lol
If people want to keep me in the loop that bad, they can email or……… PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!
LMAO!
LB: I missed MySpazz too thankfully. My teenage days are over for a reason! I don’t need to return to all that. As for FB, these people stopped communicating by email and the phone is not an option when some are scattered around the globe. SO I was the one who caved in
But I draw the line at Twitter and all the other social networking sites… You’re right, you’re not missing much!
I joined FBook purely for the Scrabulous. When that left I stopped logging in. I have an alliterative saying for FBook where the first word starts with “F” and the second word is “Fbook.” Wanna take a guess as to the phrase?
GSR: Ooohhhh… he mentions Scrabulous then throws in the word alliterative ; incidentally I haven’t heard it since high school. (yes that was a semi colon!)
Yeah, right… 
You mean it starts with an F, second letter is U? As in FunBook??
Facebook. I have it but hardly update ever my status. I just use it to spy on people I don’t make time to talk to. I just want to know what’s going on with their lives without having to carry out a conversation full of pleasantries because lately pleasant and me don’t go together.
AlmostLoved: That’s exactly what I have been doing of late. No status update and keeping up to date with their news and photos. Except the odd Happy Birthday. Like you, I’m done with pleasantries for a while… must be something in the air!