CléaDisclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post with regards to bloggers do not refer to any of the regular readers/commenters of this blog and are not to be taken as such.
From time to time, I scour around the blogosphere looking for inspiration, and by inspiration I don’t mean I seek out a Muse; mine shares a space in my mind and can be more than a handful at all times. I search for encouragement. I look for that morsel of motivation to continue along this binary journey, painting a canvas with prose and sharing ideas.
The truth is, I’m bored.
My searches around the blogadrome have been futile. I feel that I have said this, written that, commented on the same, read that piece with such familiarity, even wrote about it in the past, that I realise that I have become blasé about a hobby that is no longer new and exciting, no longer avant garde in its freedom of expression; a medium of communication that corporations have embraced and many individuals are looking to make a quick buck out of it.
And it leaves me with no encouragement to either write or comment.
I see individuals who have been blogging for a long time – if 3 years or more equates to longevity – churning out the same type of posts, asking the same questions, searching for the same purpose and I wonder, have their lives not changed at all or are they stuck in the same writing rut, afraid to venture into different grounds in fear of losing their readership?
Change is often good, else we stagnate and halt our development.
When I look back through my archives, I see a handful of posts that I consider to be of value. Yet I am quick to note that my writing has lost its drive and that spark that gives a thrill once a piece is published. Some may say that a state of despondency brings out the best of one’s writing. But that’s a catch-22 situation to which I do not prescribe. My writing Muse is not melancholy-centred, and can be triggered by a surge of positive emotions.
I could close the door on cbmused.com and concentrate on a bigger project, but it is not that simple. I too have a narcissistic desire to have this space of mine ‘out there’ in case I need it to express a feeling or share a thought. Or is it the financial commitment I have made when I purchased my domain and paid hosting fees. Either way, I look upon this space as a training ground, an open field upon which to walk and run before I can sprint.
As this site slowly approaches a milestone, I am left to ponder, if the real drive to continue stems from within my blogosphere and not outside of it, from the contact that regular readers and commenters bring which fuel the desire to walk along this written path.
And that contact does not leave me feeling bored at all.
Haha…I can’t help but think that this post is somewhat inspired from what I’ve written of late, especially what I wrote last night.
No, the beauty in your words were never melancholy-centric, not like mine and others. You have an ability to write based on the moments, whether in joy, sadness, contemplation and even anger towards whatever you feel in life. So no, I don’t think your drive comes from what goes around the blogosphere. Whatever you want to say, you have already decided to say and it speaks so in your words.
And that’s the thing about keeping a personal blog. Whether good or bad, we write and we move on. To keep walking ahead in our real lives drawing upon the moments we witness and the experience we gain. What’s left here is a place to stop, to muse, to come to terms, so that one day we can look back and realize how far we’ve walked.
Not the kind of thing that would leave you bored to begin with.
I understand, I think I have been doing this about the same amount of time. I am not a writer I am just venting or playing around when I am to tired to read, television is boring, its late I cannot sleep, whatever. It is a good place just to vent.
You have set the bar very high on your site, so the pressure is on you to keep on and keep up the standard. Fortunate for me I do not have a high standard. Your posts are well written, you use punctuation and proper English and well this does not work for me when I am done I am done. Blogging for some reason I feel compelled to do, its a way to vent and I have to admit I have been in a foul mood of late, so many of my posts are negative. I do not want to be negative but I have been, I have a good friend who is at deaths door which makes all my other daily pain in the ass problems pale in comparison so I am trying to get back to myself and prepare for the worst, because if it does happen I do want to be able to be a strong support for the family ( all friends since I was 6 years young) of my friend.
Yet even with my scatological approach to blogging I do feel pressure to post, I have people who read my blog (at least two) counting myself and the NSA but even the low standard has its pressures. So my suggestion is to relax, focus on projects and then just goof around on your blog. Kind Regards JW
General Comment to Everyone: The Disclaimer holds true else I wouldn’t have put it there. Please don’t make me explain myself in every comment that “it’s not about you”. It defeats the true purpose of the post.
Kami: No, it wasn’t inspired as such. As I said in the disclaimer, this is not about any of my regular readers nor was it inspired by anything they’ve written/done. I’ve had this feeling for a while and after a conversation last week, I thought it was time to post it. But I digress.
You are correct in that whatever I want to say has been decided by me and the inspiration does not come from the blogosphere but from my life. The truth is, I don’t know what is left here when I feel all has been said and done many time over.
JW: Although I never set out to blog daily I understand the pressure to update, and very rarely succumb to it these days (unless I got bored with the last post). I too prefer blogging to TV but it has to be gratifying and I guess that’s been the missing link.
I’m sorry to learn about your friend. Whatever gets us through, and I know from prior experience that blogger friends can be instrumental in helping us deal with issues. My thoughts are with you
You give good advice, and I can’t help but blush at setting the bar very high remark and say thank you. Maybe injecting silliness into it occasionally would do the trick. As it was, this bit of frivolity was fun to do.
Then coincidences are a remarkable thing to follow. Maybe there is a certain way blogs of the same kind flow, like a tide that both complements and culminates one another. It is a beauty in a way if one appreciates those sort of things.
Kami: Coincidences maybe, and the same sentiments are echoed elsewhere in my travels (not by this blog’s readers) which is the point I made, and why I said “I feel that I have said this, written that, commented on the same, read that piece with such familiarity, even wrote about it in the past…”
It still equates to boredom.
The ole boobie post, I have thought about that one a whole bunch.
Now something strange just happened an email of mine popped on this little window I am typing in? Huh?
I dunno, just relax and if you are bored with a post just post a quip or something, then sometime later you may feel inspired. Don’t hang it up yet, winters just around the corner and its much darker with much more time to grow bored and thoughtful. I don’t know about offering good advice other than my last post of wisdom. Never mix Bourbon with Alcohol. Kind Regards JW
JW: Some days I would rather ponder the 08 08 08 / BOOB OOBies than the meaning of life.
If I was ready to hang it up, I’d just do it. I’m not one to write such a post to elicit sympathetic comments of ‘please don’t go’ to which I reply in ‘aww…’. I respect my readers too much for that.
After all, it’s all about having fun.
Hmm, things have really slowed down. I’ve sort of shifted focus with the way I blog/journal about my life. Things happen. Like you, I think I’ll always want a way to speak what’s on my mind.
Ha, I like what you said to Josh about a good bye post. I’ve read many of those and many seem to pander. If you’re going, just do it. Do what you got to do and either come back or don’t. I wish you luck whatever you decide to do.
Cléa – it kind of sucks you even had to include a disclaimer before the post. I’m just saying.
Well, with the democratization of “publishing” for the reason that anyone with a computer can publish a blog, some mediocrity would have to follow.
In other words, if only writers who could get published in a magazine could be read, there would be a gatekeeper/editor to tell the writer, “You have already gone to that well enough times.”
Correctly or incorrectly.
Egan: That’s the thing, the novelty wears out after x years and there are other things in life that preoccupy us. We still like the medium to voice our thoughts but since it has been inundated, the quality seems to have dropped.
I feel strongly about that point. I too have read many of those, and my eyes always roll. Either stay or go.
Egan: I know… but I was caught out before when some readers thought it was about them and someone got very upset so I had to put the disclaimer. Besides, my scouring the blogosphere went beyond my readers since a) I already know them well and b) I was looking for new ideas. But yeah, it sucks up to a point.
Zen: Good point. But then we wouldn’t have that freedom of expression in this medium. Wait… who says we do now? Hmm…
I’ve always liked how your post are not melancholy-driven. Let’s just hope you get of out this “bored” phase and be inspired by something. If not, this is your blog and there should be no pressure to update daily or frequently or at all.
As for me, I just use my blog to purge. I don’t even know if I’ll continue blogging once I get out of this phase. I’m just taking it as it goes.
again.
Almost Loved: My Muse is across different emotions, so you’ll see a mix in what I write. The point about melancholic writing was that a lot of people feel they lose their drive once they’ve moved on, and this is not the case from me. Just a phase, as you say, of being bored.
I like what you do with your blog, even though some of it is painful for you. I always feel you’re writing form the heart
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Hmmm… I have too much to say… so I’ll try and respond to this without a) being a comment hog, and b) making it all about me!
I relate to losing drive, and not so much losing inspiration, but losing the “sounding board” where you go to express or explain it. I have kinda formed this theory about online “community bubbles”, and how they grow and grow… then one day suddenly burst – scattering bloggers in all directions. When that happens, those remaining either put up with a reduced audience, or go on a quest for “like minds” as you have. Sadly, I too have had a look out there but have failed to find many people that grip me. Any that have posess a massive readership already ( their own community bubble ) and that makes it all very impersonal to me. I like to actually know something about the person writing a blog. I like to know there is something ( or several things ) they think about in the same way I do. If I want to read an article, or a column, I’ll go somewhere that specializes in that impersonal magazine-type style.
It’s funny though… all of us started blogging with nothing… leaving and receiving our first comments very tentatively and nervously. We all know what it’s like to have few ( or zero ) readers, but the difference is, now we have seen over the fence and become used to it. There’s no doubt too that our readership colours what we write… but in some cases it may become too restrictive. Once people know you it’s as if you have a reputation to live up to… and you start writing for them and not yourself.
Sometimes I wonder if I need to wipe the slate clean and just start again, writing for me. But that’s easier said than done…
Gboy: Please go ahead and do both, that’s what comments are for.
You’ve summed it up perfectly, the quest for like minds, and not finding much out there. I too prefer smaller blogs where I get to relate to the blogger instead of being a comment in hundreds, and that’s what I like about my blog, a small but intimate readership.
I understand the expectation/reputation, though I don’t feel this blog has a clear enough direction that straying from it would lose readers. I’m not about to chronicle what I had for breakfast (well, except the pancakes post!) but you get my drift.
What would you change if you were to start over? As for me, I would see myself on the same path, and just as bored.
I think Jazz improve is a good example of what you are doing here. My favorite blogs are not read by the masses but seem to just pop up with ideas and opinions, some which I may or may not agree with but, who cares? I am not worried about my blog, it is a picture perfect blog filled with imperfections which basically encapsulates myself as a person. I am what I am, as Popeye so eloquently put it, flaws in judgment, ideas, and of course proper English or American I am not sure which is the norm in this world of ours.
I have often been tempted to delete my blog, and often reread a post and realized how poorly written it was but on most cases of flawed posts I will just post again hoping the last post will disappear, but rarely do I return and correct my post. I have not yet deleted a post, no matter how embarrassing. For whatever reason I just keep plugging along, which mirrors my life. If I thought about every mistake I made a day I would end up falling on the sword, so I just accept myself for what I am and I am on a constant journey to improve myself but for some reason will not edit my past. I am not a big fan of deceit so maybe this is my motivation, I dunno, I like the bards quote “to thine own self be true” which reminds me of the King James theory, but in the end just stay true to yourself and your purpose. I think I’m giving myself advice, I’m hunting and pecking out loud, thats all, forgive the intrusion.
Cléa if I started a new blog it would most likely be unrecognisable from the current one, and most likely unpallatable with current readership. There are so many angles… so many ways to approach writing… but we tend to trap ourselves with our blogs and not stray too far. I mean we’ve all dabbled and tried to write something outside our comfort zone ( or a bit experimental )… but I’m not talking about that. I think to write well you need to pick something you know… something you’re passionate about… something you have an opinion on. It has to either make a lot of sense to you… or absolutely none… and it’s not which side your opinion comes down on that matters, but how you relate it.
I am sure there are things you are passionate about that you choose not to write about here… and I think most bloggers are the same. You will find new people who share your passion, but you’ll also shed readers that are indifferent. They’ll hang around for a while… but they’ll eventually get bored…
You hate my writing. I knew it!
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Please don’t go! Stay! STAY!
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Okay, now that I’m done being a bitch
, I have to say that I agree with everything you wrote. I don’t know if I’m guilty of this (I’m sure I am), but I too get bored of the same type of post with the same question asked. I know that a blog is a personal space and, well, that author can do whatever pleases them, but I find it easy to see who writes for the sake of writing, and who writes to see the number of comments they get. My favourite trend I’ve been seeing lately is the question posed to the reader at the end of the post. If that’s not a lure for comments then I don’t know what is.
I know that with me, if I feel I’m going nowhere with my blog, it’ll be time to stop.
JW: I like your analogy about a blog being flawed just as we are. After all it is part of humanity, and even when we strive for perfection, we falter at times. I hope you don’t delete your blog. It is part of you and has become part of your history. If you’re like me, you’d cringe at some posts but think, meh, so what.
And good advice it is. When you’re true to yourself, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.
Gboy: I see your point. Granted, I could broach topics that would never fit here. But the question remains, do I want to write about them? The answer has been no. There are some subjects that would be interesting to blog. However, they reveal too much information and I like to keep an anonymous blog, so that rules that out for me.
I’m in total agreement about the passion and writing about things you love, you feel, and you know very well. That kind of writing is often the best.
That was my perspective but since I asked the question of you, I can’t help but question if you are somewhat restricted with what you write on your blog. I hope that’s not the case.
EM: Fine. I’ll stay. You’re such a stirrer!
Seriously, I think many of us after a while ask ourselves if we’re going in circles or if the blogosphere is rehashing everything. I think you and I shared similar views on comments here. As you said, easy to pick those who just want to clock up comments vs those who contribute, and by contribution, it can be fun as well, and not just on serious topics.
I do the question thing on certain posts, ending with “your opinion…” or something like that when I’d like a discussion but usually I’ve presented my point of view first, or I’m seeking an answer.
You see that’s the thing. I don’t feel I’m done with my blog. I still have and get a lot of ideas. I’m just a bit disheartened at some of the stuff out there compared to the early days.
Hmm… I dunno, we get bored in RL w/the same-ole same-ole, so stands to reason that it would also happen in the matrix, right?
You may be bored, Clea, but none of your posts are ever boring.
In fact, I’ve just awarded you over at my uninspired place.
LB: Good point. Quite often blog life mirrors real life. If the thrill of something seems gone, we look elsewhere. Thank you for the kind word. While my inspiration to write is still present, extending it beyond the sphere of this circle here seems, uninspiring.
Yours is hardly uninspiring! Sheesh… you’ve got so much going there one doesn’t get a moment to feel bored! And I’ll check it out shortly