The flyer was in my mail box, featuring a blurred photo of a young woman looking in the mirror. I looked at the back and recognised the name of the dermatologist I visited a year ago when I noticed the sudden appearance of a tiny spot on my face. One can never be too careful when it comes to skin cancers. It had to be a yearly reminder for a check up.

I put the flyer on my desk with the rest of the bills then picked it up again. Odd. It had nothing to do with an annual check up. It was an invitation for Botox injections. There I was thinking it was a genuine preventative care reminder and it’s telling me that my fine lines can be easily erased with toxic injections and as a bonus, I would receive the Doc’s own brand of face cream. My ire metre went off scale.

The specialist to whom I was referred came highly recommended. But when I entered the reception, something raised an eyebrow, but not a few fine lines. The entire practice was adorned with young, skinny blondes wearing clothes that are way too fashionable for a medical practice. Then the Doc came out and called for me. Another tall, skinny blonde, with long hair that had been styled into flirtatious curls that morning, wearing a tight pair of pants, and a three quarter sleeve shirt unbuttoned low enough to reveal her size D cup breasts on her willowy figure. “I’m Doctor Sasha Beautiful,” she said, with emphasis on doctor.

The consultation took less than 20 minutes, and that included the uncomfortable removal of the offending part. But not after I was given a stern talk down for having tanned skin (it was the end of summer) and words such as “your skin is so damaged, it’s too late”, then being subjected to the not-so-inane chatter between Dr Beautiful and Nurse Bimbette about the Doc’s (another) impending weekend away to her rural interstate property with prized horses. Nausea was setting in quite nicely, thank you, but not from the local anaesthetic.

A week later, after an agonising wait for pathology results because she thought it highly likely to be of nasty variety, I called for the results. “It was just a mole, but so unusual to see them in someone your age.” Someone my age? I had told her my grandmother had them way into her late eighties.

Recounting the story to male friends and colleagues made them sing the same chorus. “All right! When can I go there?” I rolled my eyes with no intention of returning. I mentioned it to my hairdresser in conversation. The girl next to me perked up and told me how her male doctor, a general practitioner, told her she needed Botox because she was getting on in years. She left the practice in tears. Her two months old baby had been keeping her up late, and she had just turned thirty years old.

Women of all ages have way too many insecurities that the media constantly feeds upon, creating problems in some areas where there should be none. The last hurdle we need is the greedy medical field, with its supposedly trusted medical practitioners preying on our vulnerabilities.

Whilst I am not immune to physical insecurities, fine lines are not my concern, thanks to good genetics and a healthy lifestyle. And when life begins to etch its marks on my visage, I know the perfect drug than can erase years off any person’s face: laugher.

See Something You’d Rather Not?

I do. As plain as the mole on the next face. Your shoddy medical ethics.

17 Comments to “See Something You’d Rather Not?”
  1. Kamigoroshi says:

    I’m really interested in the fact the doctor said that to you. Just what kind of quacks are they anyway? Though it sounds to me from your description of them that they suffer from the same kinds of insecurities as well. The kind that perpetuates and preys upon self-conscious patients.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the general public buys into that kind of thing. I don’t which is worse though, people who take no regard to their medical health or doctors like this who embarrass the profession.

  2. Yoda says:

    Sounds like you could write a review of this doc online. Do you have forums (like Yelp) where you could rate your doc? They deserve it!!

  3. Gorilla Bananas says:

    I despise smug and bossy doctors. It’s why I generally prefer vets.

  4. Zen Wizard says:

    Everyone sees the world through the prism of their own profession–there was a funny episode of Frasier once where Frasier and Niles were debating about which psychiatrists they could see on a trade arrangement  or who they could talk down in price to recover from the emotional trauma of recently breaking up with their significant others, and their father interrupts them and says, “The problems you guys are having?  That’s just LIFE–just deal with it!”  or something to that effect.

    But a shoe salesman always tells you it is a crime against humanity to wear the same shoes two days in a row, etc.

    And a radio advertising salesman starts thinking about which radio stations will let him run ads for himself–to buy radio ads, because he is a radio advertising salesman.

    When I was an insurance salesman, I thought everybody needed a million dollar umbrella policy–even some hick 100 miles outside of town in a 150k farmhouse.

    Why should it stop with doctors?

    I hate doctors (not them per se but their job) and I hate going to them.

    Basically, I hate any profession that can legally restrict your freedom of movement–doctors, dentists, car mechanics, police officers, judges, airline stewardesses, etc.

  5. Sicilian Mama says:

    Unusual to see a mole in someone your age?  Meaning you’re too young to have moles or too old?  I dont get what she meant.  I’ve had moles my entire life.  I have a huge mole on my chest that I’ve had since I was born.

    As for the insecurities that the media feeds on, I have much (MUCH) to say about that.  Unfortunately, I am havin a hard time focusing and when it comes to something like that (which I feel so strongly), I have to really focus.  But, basically, I agree with you.

  6. Mahd says:

    All doctors have a vested interest in keeping people coming back.  Maybe that’s why mine always injects me with smallpox.

  7. Cléa says:

    First things first, thank you all for reading this post. I know it’s a little long but I wanted to convey the message in the right context.

    Kami: To put it simply, I was concerned that it was a skin cancer. Everything else was fluff in comparison. I know doctors like to use scare tactics, and I approve up to a point if it gets the patient to do the right thing by them. But derogatory comments like “too late” and the manner in which it was said are out of place from a professional.

    People will fall for it because some would do anything to address their insecurities. But getting people hooked on Botox at age 30 is nothing but a money making scheme. And you know what was the icing on the cake, that made me lose all credibility? The free offer of Dr Beautiful’s face cream.

    Yoda: Not really. I have yet to give my general practitioner that feedback. But to be honest, as good a doctor he is, I think he too was thinking with his dick when he highly recommended her.

    Gorilla B: And you know what, vets tend to be nice people too.

    Zen: That episode rings a bell. I hate going to doctors too but at times it’s inevitable. You can only know your body so much. But unlike other non –health professions, you have to have some degree of trust. If all doctors were like the stereotypical second hand car salesmen, medicine wouldn’t be such a lucrative job. In fact, it never was until it became a status symbol last century.

    Sicilian: Meaning too old. According to her, moles aren’t supposed to appear once you’ve quite settled into adulthood. Knowing my family history, and the stuff we’ve inherited, if I live to my 90s, I’d still be getting them.

    Sorry you’re having a hard time focussing, but please don’t be concerned. Thank you for reading and for giving your support. As you can tell, I’m a bit riled up about this.

    Mahd: Ah yes, and you pay for the privilege. How about take this prescription and if it doesn’t work come back, so I can charge you another fee, give you another prescription for a drug that may or may not work again. I used to take their word on many things, now I question if something doesn’t gel with me.

  8. Felix for Zosia says:

    I just have no patience for this kind of crap.  I totally agree with you about wanting to look like a real person - and finding that so much more attractive than the individually plastic-wrapped cheese slice version of a face that’s had work done. Besides, they will look ridiculous in 10 years anyway; just think of the women you see from time to time with carefully thinned noses - you can tell they had work done in the 80s. everything goes in and out of fashion, including desired body types and facial features.

  9. Cléa says:

    Felix for Zosia: Ah yes, you can always tell the nose. If only it were just that. I’ve seen some 65+ ladies around a restaurant table and i swear the plastic between them was enormous. They looked hideous with collagen lips and stretched faces.

  10. gboy says:

    I can’t believe you got Medi-Spammed though! WTF?

    I wonder, in 20 years time, just what people will make of all this. It’s hard not to dread the sort of world where you are a freak for not partaking in nip-tuck obsessive  behaviour.

    Hey, you didn’t happen to see The Simpsons this week? Rather topical!

  11. Cléa says:

    gboy: Medi-Spammed… love it! :D
    Sounds like a bad sci-fi from the 70s but so true. And I wonder the effects of peer pressure, plastic grannies vs wrinkled oldies.

    No I didn’t, too much time wasting this week. New episode or an oldie?

  12. Kamigoroshi says:

    Being part of the medical profession, I can understand why the doctor said it’s “too late” and frankly, I really can’t think of any other way to put it given what I know about sun and its damages. Here where I live at least, there is always public awareness about skin cancer and all that.

    The thing is…I have the distinct impression she was referring to the beauty of your skin and not your general well being by saying it’s “too late”. That I believe is completely unprofessional. Plus…offering the skin cream? Is she serious? Talk about in it for the money.

  13. Cléa says:

    Kami: I agree too, and i think it is doctors’ duty to scare off patients at times for their own good. But it was the manner of everything that was said and done. Trying to flog Dr Beautiful’s own brand of face cream made her lose credibility.

  14. Lil Bit says:

    I thought a mole on the face was a BEAUTY mark… at least they were in the silver screen era of days gone by… so why’d you have yours removed?

  15. Cléa says:

    Lil Bit: Now it’s all about skin cancers. I wanted it removed, though it was tiny and not visible because it was itching at times, and that’s what got me worried.

  16. peefer says:

    Well said.  Very well said.

    I would love to see this in an editorial.  You know, if the newspaper is worthy of you.

  17. Cléa says:

    Peefer: Thank you kindly, and believe me so would I as the topic has been on my mind.

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