There is an irritating-time-wasting-gag-worthy shopping task that I occasionally have to endure, and pay handsomely for the privilege. It may sound simple, to elbow others in front of a messy stand - and that’s in itself cause for ire – and choose a piece of mass-produced cardboard with a few printed words. But in reality, it brings out the red monster within.

Greeting cards work on the premise that the image will grab your attention and the clichéd words will reflect sentiments you are incapable of expressing. They have a short expiry date in your life, unless you hoard memorabilia from every birthday, Christmas, New Year, illness, hospital stay, graduation, farewell, engagement, wedding, anniversary, baby, and death.

Whenever I am given a card, I pity the person watching me open the envelope. If it is a Far Side card, my reaction is to give them a long hard blank stare. I just don’t get it. And if they have to explain it to me, I still don’t think it’s funny. Cute teddy bears, I’ve outgrown when my teddy got jealous, and he’s a precious one I dare not upset. Cutesy cats and dogs are out of the question for someone like me who has a phobia. Floral arrangements, housey cottages, artwork and nature make me reach for the porcelain bowl recycling bin. Girly cards with lots of splashed pink aren’t me.

Which brings me to ecards. Having enjoyed a ten minute fame in their heyday, flash-animated cartoons with annoying music leave me cold, reaching for that bottle of port reserved for sleepless wintry nights. In fact, I have stopped opening them when one innocent click downloaded a malicious virus and hijacked my PC.

But I confess to having in my possession a small collection of memorable cards. They have a stylish and modern design, they are sassy and bold - a bit like me - with just a few heartfelt words written by the sender - like ‘Dear Cléa Love Me’.

Which is why I was instantly attracted to this site and I immediately raced to send one. No, not this one. (NSFW)

So, on this Valentine’s Day, permit me to send you all a little expression of my sentiments.

☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

To My Dear Readers

A little bloggy lurv.

Love
Cléa

☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

14 Comments to “Love Cléa”
  1. Grad School Reject says:

    Is that what happens when someone mentions you on their blog?!?!?! ;) Happy Valentine’s Day!

  2. Andy says:

    thanks for the lurv, but I’m wary that clicking on any link involving cards, wishes and the like will splash icons all over my desk, promising pictures of women who are, apparently, “hot for me”.

    So, I think a little “right back atcha” will suffice for today.

    Andy

  3. Gorilla Bananas says:

    I remember seeing a card showing a 6-year-old boy with his middle finger raised. His eyes followed me from whatever angle I looked at him.

  4. Kamigoroshi says:

    Ahh Valentine’s day. That little commercialized day which people forget what love is all about. A great day if you know how to have fun.

    I keep some of my old cards too. The ones that bring with it memories of friendship and love. The ones that still whisper “je reve de toi”.

    As for Ecards, well…I rarely open them at all, not even from someone I know. I prefer mine taking a little more effort than that. It’s worth it.

  5. Sidney says:

    Please accept my bottle of virtual Lalande-de-Pommerol wine!
    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  6. Zen Wizard says:

    I just Google Earth a picture of my apartment and say, “Wish You Were Here.”

  7. Zen Wizard says:

    In your case, you could take a picture of the Seattle Space Needle, and caption it, “I Needle LIttle Lovin’–Wish you were here!!”

  8. Cléa says:

    GSR: I dunno… some say a picture says a thousand words. But what would I know… :P

    Love Cléa
    PS Does that mean I’ll get a mention now?

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Andy: How did you know that was exactly what my card promised you without clicking on it? :)

    “Right back atcha” sounds good enough!

    Love Cléa
    PS I would have posted the picture of the card but that would be in breach of their copyright.

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Mr Bananas: are you sure he didn’t appoint some arrow thingy at you instead of that middle finger?

    Love Cléa
    PS Is today a good day to tell you I have a crush on your blog? Never though I’d say that to such a talented ape…

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Kamigoroshi: it may be overly commercialised (like Christmas and Easter) but if you have the chance to enjoy it, there’s no harm done, better than regretting not having done anything.

    “Je reve de toi” sounds like a story well telling :)

    Love Cléa
    PS I hope they have legible handwriting, unlike mine.

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Sidney: A man after my own… virtual palate :). Thank you from all my heart.

    Love Cléa
    PS Vous avez du bon gout!

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Zen: and I’d say “But I am here. In Seattle. And I promise not point that thing at you.” The bottle of wine, what did you think?? :P

    Love Cléa
    PS That is such a romantic thought. Seriously. Combining love and geek.

  9. mez says:

    happy VD :P Love the sentiment. oolala

    I LOATHE cutesy cards, or ANY card that has a schmultzy message on the inside. Animated cards make me want to shoot myself! The good ones are few and far between and usually have a picture of an outdated 70s icon wearing glitter or something hehe <3 I’m a dag like that though.

    I’m one of those people that will pick up a far side calendar and laugh openly at it in the middle of a store. Hilarious!

  10. enny says:

    Happy V Day, Clea :o)

  11. Felix for Zosia says:

    I usually make cards because I object to paying $5 for something that is ugly, and most of them are.

    Hope you had a nice V Day. I had cocktails and tapas with friends, followed by dessert in a chocolate shop… and almost no nauseatingly cute couples were to be seen.

  12. Cléa says:

    Mez: Card shopping just makes me want to punch someone, the person who’s written them for a start!

    I just don’t get the Far Side humour, and that’s fine. But when you tell someone, why do they repeatedly keep giving you similar cards?!

    Love
    Cléa
    PS I thought the bloggy lurv would go down well :)

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Enny: happy now belated vday to you! I hope you had a good one :)

    Love
    Cléa
    PS I hope strange birds weren’t involved…

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

    Felix for Zosia: you must be very talented to make your own!

    Ah yes, the nauseating ones. They should be given their own section in restaurants!

    Love
    Cléa
    PS I’m envious of your cocktails and tapas!

    ☆*´¨`*☆.¸¸.☆*´¨`*☆

  13. Jarod says:

    Valentine’s Day can kiss my big ol’ B*tt, I say!

  14. Cléa says:

    Jarod: hello and welcome!And it can also kiss my RSS feed.

    Love
    Cléa
    PS I get the impression it might be a fine looking b*utt!

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